Fighting amongst ourselves? Answering She Says criticism

Are you your own worst enemy? Or are your girlfriends? That’s the question Chris Linnares poses to She Says editor Mary Jo Hotzler this week. Are women hurting the feminist movement by fighting amongst themselves?

8 thoughts on “Fighting amongst ourselves? Answering She Says criticism

  1. No – absolutely not. And, I will not stop arguing. The feminist movement was taken over by the extremely liberal wing of the democratic party many years ago. I’m fine that they want to express their voices, but my pro-life, conservative voice should not be discounted as not feminist because I don’t follow the left philosophy of tax and spend and share the wealth. Instead, we are attacked as not being part of a feminist movement. I am proud to be a conservative feminist who believes in free market capitalism, rewarding those who succeed, allowing some to fail, and freedom of choice before conception (not discounting the life of a baby).

  2. I agree NDgirl. If you are a woman with conservative values who wants to stay home with the children and not forge a career simultaneously you’re seen as “not with the times”. I think the feminist movement failed miserably and only served to break up the family unit. Has some equality occurred? Sure it has but at what cost? Now women are expected to do it all. Work, raise the children, keep the house clean, etc…This was recently glamorized in the latest Sarah Jessica Parker movie entitled, “I Don’t Know How She Does It”. It’s this unattainable standard that women have to reach. Oh plus they have to look good doing it all. Meanwhile we’ve dumbed down our men. They’ve been held to no standards and the incidences of single moms has risen dramatically since the 60’s and 70’s. It’s a lose lose situation and really in the end only the children suffer as they are shuffled around from schools, to daycares, school events, church events, and never really learning to ground themselves.

  3. Thanks for the comments! I think you both bring up excellent points! I think we make a mistake when we paint feminism or feminists into a very narrow corner. We are all different, conservative, liberal, whatever. I am a feminist and I work outside the home. I have very close friends who are stay at home moms and are very strong feminists. We are many things. I can enjoy “Meet the Press” and “Cupcake Wars.” I don’t feel demeaned or diminished as a woman because I read a section of the paper with fashion advice or recipes. It’s not all I am or all I read. I wish we could all respect each other for the choices we make. I remember reading a study that said the well-being of a child has less to do with whether mom works outside the home or not, it’s more about whether the mom is happy. So if a mom feels fulfilled by having a career or being a full time stay at home mom, her children are likely to benefit. Women are empowered when we choose what we want to be. I wish we could all respect each other for the choices we make and how we choose to raise our children. Thanks for adding to the discussion ND Girl and April. Maybe, you’d like to be interviewed in a future video blog? We’re always looking for more voices from more women. Just email if you’d like to hear more:

  4. Of course NDgirl doesn’t speak for most North Dakotans. Up here in the northland, we don’t generally believe that a rape victim must be forced to bear her attacker’s children. Or that a young molestation victim must carry the offender’s child to term and deliver. April seems to be suggesting that we turn the clock back on equality – back to a time when women were valued more as breeding stock and their ability to cook for the male head of household. Again, these are not the prevailing attitudes in North Dakota (nor in the rest of America). And the confused comments regarding the “dumbing down of men” makes no sense whatsoever. If fact, both these post are a mix of horrible logic, poor grammar, and unsupported statements.

    The new section in the Forum is certainly not the first time a wealthy man created some inane activity to keep his idle wife busy. The same motivations have produced multitudes of not-so-precious eateries and local shops of whimsy that have since come and gone. What makes this situation unique is the legitimacy lent by associate to the city’s “newspaper of record”. Ms.Briggs proclaims that she is not “diminished as a woman because I read a section of the paper with fashion advice or recipes”. While this may be true, she neglects to consider the larger impact that an authoritarian publication may have on young minds. Will a young girl reading the Forum see her role in society as being defined by her gender? Unfortunately, this is a complex topic and requires more words than I’m willing to type, and the introduction of more concepts that are probably beyond your comprehension.

    • Thanks for your comment. It was both interesting and condescending. I do appreciate the insights you’re providing here. It’s obvious you have a lot of passion about what you’re reading and seeing here. I agree with you on much of what you said here in regards to rape and equality. However, I have to say I think it’s unfair to judge Chris as an “idle wife.” It’s very easy to make assumptions about her because of her marriage. But she was a successful woman in her own right long before she was married. She was a psychologist, book author, radio and television host in Brazil. Currently she runs her own business and foundation. So why is it okay that we still judge women (like Chris) not on their own success, but define them simply as someone’s wife? We don’t define men based upon what their wives do for a living, we shouldn’t do it to women either. That’s pretty anti-woman if you ask me. I welcome your thoughts on other topics if you decide to share them with us. You might be surprised at what we can comprehend.

  5. I have to admit, I had flashes of 1950s housewives when I read about the new Shesays section, but I have been inspired by what I have read in Shesays and seen on this blog. Shesays tells the stories of the women who are leading the area’s major companies, non-profits, civic groups and families. To me, Shesays shows how far women have come. This is not publishers wanting to increasing readership by making a section with just recipes and housekeeping tips for women. This is women claiming some space in the media to talk about the issues that are important to them – being a working or stay at home mom, keeping the family on a budget, being healthy, our relationships, recipes, and housekeeping tips. As Tracey points out, women are still reading op/eds, news, and sports..
    The media is supposed to foster discussion and research issues important to the society. This includes the issues of family and community.
    Keep the empowering content coming. I would enjoy reading about local women who have made global impact (or an impact on another side of the globe).

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